articles & videos
Becoming the type of person you want to attract
written by: akua hinds
October 19, 2020
Have you ever ended a relationship and felt absolutely cheated by the way things ended? If you have, you are not alone. One of the worst types of emotions to experience is the feeling of betrayal. Being betrayed by another person is tough to deal with, but the worst type of betrayal is when we betray ourselves by allowing certain people or situations to distract us from becoming who we are meant to become. This is why it is so important to create standards when you are dating. It’s so important to move towards what you want instead of moving away from what you desire. Your actions will help to move you towards becoming the best version of yourself and attracting someone who will help you to build your best life. Here are steps you can take to become the type of person who you most want to attract:
Reflection and Actions
The only way that you will know what kind of relationship you want and what kind of life you want to live is if you deliberately spend a few minutes per day reflecting on the type of life you want to build. I was on a business video conference meeting this morning, and the CEO leading the meeting asked each of us to spend 5 to 10 minutes each day thinking about what our future selves would want. I think that’s an excellent suggestion for business and also for dating! What kind of life do you want to be living 2 years from now? It’s important to realize that what you do today to invest towards that future life goal needs to take root and become a habit, and I’m not talking about financial investments, I’m referring to the investment of your actions. What we do each day is an investment into what our future might be like, whether good or bad.
Our thoughts become our words, our words become our actions, our actions become our habits, our habits become what builds our character, and our character builds our destiny. Thoughts, words, actions, habits, character, destiny. What kind of destiny are you hoping for? One of the reasons why I deliberately chose to create niche dating websites is because niche dating websites help singles to more quickly achieve their goals. When you have a strong understanding of what your character is and how valuable it is to you, you will not want to compromise your character for anyone or anything, and that’s why it is so important to choose someone whose character you are in agreement with. For example, if you are a vegetarian and you feel passionately about refraining from eating meat, it wouldn’t make sense for you to date a person who is a barbecue aficionado who feels equally passionate about eating meat on a daily basis. Choose wisely and be sure not to betray your values just because you might be physically attracted to someone.
Closing Doors and Opening Up New Doors
Nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could have changed your life, and this is true no matter who you are. It is very common for people to get so wrapped up in lamenting about past circumstances that didn’t go the way that they had hoped they would go, that they miss out on seeing new (and often better) possibilities. The key to getting past a negative experience is to quickly recognize what happened, what the situation taught you, and what to aim for in the future.
It can be so easy to comfortably slip into the mindset that you will spend some time thinking about past relationships that did not work out. You might even believe that reflecting on those situations might be helping you to cope with why you’re feeling so lousy. However, that’s not going to help you move towards what you really want and who you want to be with. The best way to find what you want is to deliberately look for it and to eliminate any and all distractions. For instance, if there is a pile of laundry on your bed and that pile is preventing you from lying down and stretching out on your bed, then you need to remove the pile of clothing and create room for your relaxation. You need to work on eliminating the habit to think about past situations that did not work out so that you can make room for the good things about to come your way.
Vibe with Your Tribe
We all need to surround ourselves with people who “get” us. People who push us to be the best that we can be, and who understand that more is caught than what is taught. When you want to live a certain way and think a certain way, you first need to believe that your dreams are attainable. When you have not achieved your dream yet, the best thing to do is to surround yourself with people who have achieved some of the goals that you want for yourself. When you want to attract the partner of your dreams, you need to feel encouraged that you can do that for yourself, and spending time with people who constantly tell you that you will never find your ideal mate will not be encouraging to you.
You need to go on a treasure hunt to find people who will add gems of knowledge and positive examples in your life. Don’t expect the people you want to connect with to just magically appear in your life; YOU need to FIND them, and you can join support groups, attend community events, take up hobbies, and do whatever is needed to surround yourself with people whose visions you share and wish to emulate. There should always be someone in your life who is mentoring you to be better and to do better. Doing better all starts with your thoughts. Finding a new circle of individuals who are living the dream that you dream of living for yourself will help you to attract the kind of partner that you truly deserve, and make no mistake; you deserve the absolute best. You can give yourself the type of life that you desire, but it all depends upon you and how you act because how you act will impact what you will tolerate and what you will attract.