A conversation needs to happen much sooner rather than later between you and the person who you are interested in, especially if you meet online. Technology has given us so much, and it really is a blessing to be able to use it to communicate through various methods like talking on the telephone, text messaging, and video chatting. However, too many people have gotten complacent about using these tools to do the bare minimum with regards to communication.
The best form of communication is when two people are seated across from each other and having an in-person discussion. The best way to know someone is to spend time in their presence so that you can get a feel for how well your personalities mesh. And, when you are determined to meet the right person, there really is no time for you to waste trying to make a connection with someone who might be the wrong person. How will you know if someone is the right person for you? Well, the only way to discover that is to engage in communication! That is why it is so important to put a limit on electronic messages and insist upon live interaction.
Not too long ago, I had connected with a man on a dating website and had exchanged a little over 300 text messages with him before hearing what his voice sounded like on the telephone. Our text messages were very friendly and encouraging, but when we finally decided to have a phone conversation after over a month of texting, our conversation was an eye-opening experience. I learned first-hand through that phone conversation that his values and mine were not compatible in any way. His text messages made him seem like a nice guy, but it was clear during our phone conversation that that guy had a lot of narrow-minded opinions about other people, and delusions that I just did not share. After speaking with him for a little over an hour, I said goodbye to him and immediately deleted our text messages and blocked his phone number. I could not get over what a negative person and what a jerk that guy was, and I thanked my lucky stars that I didn’t meet him in person. I hope and pray that I never will meet him in person!
Soon after that phone call experience, I decided that I wanted to get to know anyone else I met online differently going forward. Finding out that the person who I had exchanged over 300 text messages with was not the nice guy who he portrayed himself to be from behind his cell phone screen made me realize the importance of getting back to communication basics. There was another man who I had met around the same time through online dating. We had exchanged some AMAZING text messages in which he professed his huge interest in me and wanted the same things that I wanted. When I told him that I wanted to talk on the telephone and called him and left him a voice message, he messaged me a few minutes later letting me know that he couldn’t talk because he was in the middle of a job interview (suddenly he was in the middle of changing jobs and didn’t mention that in any of our previous text messages until now?) and would call me back. He went on to text that he thought I had the voice of an angel. How nice. But for whatever reason, Mister Big Promises did not call me back, and it was then that I realized that he was all talk but was probably too afraid to move beyond the point of text messaging.
Make sure not to waste too much of your time engaging with someone via text message or email. Set a limit on how long you will exchange messages before insisting on having a live conversation. Anyone who makes excuses as to why they cannot have a live conversation with you, is someone who you should not take seriously in any way. Some people claim that they want a relationship, but they are not truly ready to move forward if they are not ready to press the dial button on their phones and have a live conversation with you. A text message will not reveal the true chemistry that a live conversation will reveal.